i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
