wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
