When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
wow bdsm is so cute
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
