I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
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