There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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