we're blogging at a bar
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
