go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
