Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
