I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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