I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
