Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
So vagazzling was a success
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
