You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
