"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
