Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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