Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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