cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
