So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
