I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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