i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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