He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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