i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
