Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
