My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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