I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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