Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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