He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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