Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
