Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
