So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
