I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
