So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize