You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
