My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize