I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I have fence marks all over my body
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
