Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Alive.
So much puke
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
