My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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