he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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