is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
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