they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
