You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
