how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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