Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
My butt remains clenched, sir.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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