At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
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I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
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You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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