D3 body, D1 cock
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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