Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
We have started to decorate penises.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm too high and old for this...
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
