I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
