How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
