She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize