So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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