Christians are straight up FREAKS
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
