ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
