Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
