i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
