Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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