Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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