this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
