I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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