check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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