I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
