Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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