He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
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I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
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He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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