There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
